Joy of Pain?
My wife was meeting with a doula this week, and they were talking about the pain of childbirth. The doula made a statement that honestly kinda wigged me out. She was talking about our tendency to medicate ourselves out of pain. As labor begins, many women instantly ask for an epidural in order to “enjoy” the experience rather than “suffer through it.” The doula said, “We avoid pain. We don’t realize or accept the joy of it.”
Now this lady was one of those super natural people. In fact, she explained how “Lucy” (a fossilized hominid of the species Australopithecus afarensis, found in Ethiopia) was proof that the birth process is not dangerous for mother or baby (long story). I kind of tuned her out from that point on in the conversation, thinking instead of the episode of 24 that I was missing to be there. But I couldn’t get that phrase out of my head… “the joy of pain.”
As I think about it, I should see it that way, too. But I really don’t. My life has been seasoned with pain as long as I can remember. But the last few months have been some of the worst. The truth is, I know I will look back on this time and be so grateful for it. I’ll see the joy from that perspective. But for now, I find myself trying to medicate the hurt. With distractions or entertainment, with anger, with many things. The joy of pain.
Obviously, Scripture and the life of Jesus demonstrate that we are given a gift in pain, that we are not to avoid it. Through it we are made whole in many ways. We’re commanded to pick up our cross, a phrase I use so often about minor sacrifices that it degrades the reality of murder by crucifixion. I’m commanded to die. (Col. 3.3)
Life brings pain. Only what is alive can experience it. Dead things don’t hurt. “It is the life of self which causes us pain; that which is dead does not suffer” (Fenelon, “Let Go,” letter 2).
Most of my pain is from what should be dead, and is a reminder of the selfishness that still lives so deeply in me. My pride, mostly.
A quote that comes to mind is meant to be funny but is oddly poignant… “Pain is weakness leaving the body.” True isn’t it?
“May the Lord deliver us from falling into the state of soul in which crosses are of no benefit to us. God loves a cheerful giver, according to St. Paul in 2 Corinthians 9:7. Ah! What must be His love for those who, in cheerful and absolute abandonment, give themselves completely to be crucified with Christ.” (Fenelon)
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